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| So I lied and here is some Teddy cuteness today! |
Anyway on to the topic at hand, breastfeeding. Let me just start this by saying that I know this is a subject for which many have a very strong stance. I had one of those up until about five weeks ago. I was prepared for this breastfeeding thing or so I thought. I read books, blogs, and asked family and friends about their breastfeeding journey. Then Teddy arrived and all that was thrown out the window. Don't get me wrong the first two weeks were OK. I mean I had sore nipples and exhaustion because our little guy just wanted to nurse all the time. For the sore nipples I sought out help by going to a local La Leche League meeting. According to them his latch was perfect and the soreness should go away soonish. That's the bad thing about breastfeeding. Every body is different so what I experience might not be what someone else experiences and there are no hard and fast norms.
Anyway my dreams of having a healthy breastfed boy first came into question at his two week check up when he was not back up to birth weight. In fact he had only gained about four ounces in a week and a half. The pediatrician gave us one more week to let him catch up before suggesting supplementation. Let me tell you at that appointment I had prayed so hard that our little man was gaining weight and I was crushed to find out he had only gained an ounce in a whole week. To top that off the doctor commented that when he cried for food he seemed as if a baby who was being starved. Now here's the point where I broke down. I couldn't take the thought that my baby might think or feel as if we were trying to starve him. So we started supplementing. I told myself this is just temporary and I sought out the help of a lactation consultant. She was awesome and gave me some great tips to help my supply and wean him from the formula we were using to supplement. I left her office with a renewed since that I could and would breastfeed my son.
Now as I sit here writing this I have just given Teddy his third bottle for the day. You see the weaning was not happening according to him. If we tried to nurse longer and withhold the formula he would nurse and then scream for a bottle. Now at five weeks old we have decided to switch him to formula and before you judge me know that this has been the subject of many tears since his birth five weeks ago. This is not a decision that was made lightly and if you did not know mom guilt is real. I wanted nothing more than to say I breastfed our son for a full year but I also want nothing more than to say I enjoyed my son for that year. As of right now Teddy and I are finally getting to enjoy each other. I do not cringe at the thought of him waking from a nap and wanting to feed again. Every time he cries to be fed I do not cry with him and that is a huge relief.
I know that some will judge me harshly for this decision. Five weeks ago I would have done the same. It is amazing how becoming a parent changes you in so many ways. I now know that I just want to do what is best for Teddy, myself, and our family. This has been a huge relief too for Jose because now instead of having to watch me cry time and time again he gets to help with feeding Teddy.
Did you breastfeed or formula feed? Or a combination of both? I would love to hear your story.
You are a great mom to put your baby first! You truly care about that sweet baby to put his needs first and that includes putting you at peace as well. It's a shame we have to worry about the opinions of moms who hold themselves as flawless or have been delt a different hand. I had to stop breast feeding Aiden very early b/c he was allergic to a milk protein. I tried to change my diet to get rid of it, but I couldn't. His intestines bled and he was in constant pain, so for his comfort and peace, I chose to put him on this awful smelling (and I'm sure tasting) $26/can formula. I was told my a couple of moms just the other day in a nursing class that I shouldn't have done that and I should have sought more counseling. How dare other moms have an opinion on how you raise your child, because it's clear you only want the best. Don't let negative comments cause guilt trips. Teddy is happy and you are happy and that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! Thank you for sharing you story. I think we as women should share our stories si that we each don't have to feel so alone in our struggles.
DeleteSissy you're doing great. I nursed Adianne for 14 months and it wasn't easy or glamorous by far. I've talked to friends that said their breastfeeding experience was wonderful and others who didn't make it a week. You tried and now are doing whats best for you both. I'm proud of you. You're a great mom!
ReplyDeleteThank you sissy! I have great examples of Motherhood to look up to.
DeleteI had to end up doing both as well. Not as early though. My problem wasn't lack of production or poor latch. Well, at first it was and that was a huge mountain to cross but when we crossed it his latch was wonderful. Coleman really enjoyed nursing up to a certain extent and then just didn't want it anymore. At first I thought, oh he must be full but eventually I realized he wasn't full he just didn't want to nurse anymore. I don't remember how I finally pinpointed this out but I remember I would work so hard to get him to nurse longer and he would turn his head away but would take the bottle without a problem. I pumped so it was still breastmilk, but I'm not sure what his issue was with only wanting to nurse for a little while. Eventually my supply lessened once I went back to work at school and slowly weaned him to formula. I hate it, and I felt like the worst mother but he was happy and meeting all his milestones early so that gave me relief. It is a very hard decision and just know that he will still turn out great!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteWe breastfed for 7 months, no formula. But, pumping was hard and tedious. Eventually, I just wasn't able to pump enough to keep up with his appetite, so we started supplementing. I wanted to make it to a year, but at 11 months, Ray had other ideas. He began twirling and thrashing about at nursing times, and my boobs simply couldn't handle the acrobatics. DO NOT STRESS! Teddy will be a happy and healthy baby boy! And now, you can enjoy the middle of the night "it's your turn" nudge to Jose!
ReplyDeleteThanks! Nudging Jose abd saying is his turn is definitely one of the perks to formula.
DeleteAll that matters is that you and that precious baby are healthy and happy. I don't have any experience to speak from but I know that you are doing what is best for your son. Ignore the negativity, only you know what's right for your family. Hugs and miss you girl!
ReplyDeleteAll that matters is that you have a healthy baby. How he gets his nutrition really doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of his life…says the momma of 3 bottle fed baby girls. My milk never came in. Ever. So it became a non issue after my first. Parenthood changed nearly all opinions I ever had about anything, lol. It's really been a humbling and humanizing experience for me. You're doing a great job! Keep it up!
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